Skulldude -- Primary Reviewer

       Skulldude is the Earth name of Jaffa hairdresser Lyle Johnson.   Lyle has been hiding out on Earth since the (final) death of Apophis.   He no longer carries a symbiote, even though it was discovered shortly after his arrival on Earth that he has a strong allergic reaction to tretonin.   Determined at all costs to rid himself of any vestiges of his former false gods, he single-mindedly pursued development of an alternative to tretonin, and finally acheived success with a program centered around the daily ingestion of vast quantities of an Earth liquid called "beer."
  Jeanne Zabuska -- Associate Reviewer

       Jeanne is an international arms dealer and an avid collector of fruits and vegetables that resemble the face of Christ.   When not involved in the logistics of routing a few cases of MAC-10's, she enjoys puttering in her rose garden and test-firing her various product lines at a life-sized simulacrum of Paris Hilton.
  Donna White -- Associate Reviewer

       Donna is a professional wrestler with an impressive 92 and 16 lifetime record.   She attributes her success to focus, training and the ability to fart at will.   Her opponents, for the most part, tend to agree.   When not competing or training, she enjoys cooking Mexican food, splatter movies and the poetry of Rod McKuen.
  Gary Hopple -- Associate Reviewer

       Gary is an jet setting playboy of legendary conquests.   His turn ons are candlelight dinners, long walks on the beach and medieval torture devices.   In his spare time, Gary is heavily involved in his bridge club, currently hard at work on two different bridges.   He also enjoys sampling various herbal teas and dabbling in extortion.
  Teresa Hooker -- Associate Reviewer

       Teresa considers herself a "people person", and is self-employed as an,  um,  er,  entertainment specialist.   Her hobbies include auto-mechanics, stud poker and collecting dead presidents.   She lives with her Cocker Spaniel, a red-tailed boa constrictor and her pim--  . . . . er . . . . husband.
  Wayne Bryant -- Associate Reviewer

       Wayne Bryant is a mortician who specializes in burying people with their pets.   In college he first majored in Animal Husbandry (until they caught him at it) then switched to Mortuary Science, which has enabled him to combine his three biggest loves -- dead people, dead animals and makeup.
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